


Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, imposter syndrome, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26126155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Eggsy is stressed trying to find a place where his worlds intersect and he can feel comfortable.  Harry does his best to console him and make him realize his value.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 21
Kudos: 89





	Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

“What’s all this?” Harry stares up from the breakfast table in surprise. Eggsy is clad in his favorite grey suit, hair perfectly styled, tie rakishly askew…and carrying a large duffel bag. “Are you moving out?” Harry says the words facetiously but underneath them is a solid undercurrent of fear. He lives with that fear every day, worrying that one day Eggsy will wake up and realize that loving Harry is the worst possible thing he could do, and that his young lover will quickly pack up and move on.

“Yes, Harry, that’s it,” Eggsy says solemnly. “I finally got my trainers organized just right in the spare closet, but I’ve decided it’s time to move on…with only one bag.”

“And that bag is full of trainers?” Harry teases.

“I’d need a few bags for that.” Eggsy drops the bag to the floor by the fridge and kisses the top of Harry’s head. “Tonight’s the night I’m meeting Jamal and Brandon for dinner, remember?”

“Is it Thursday already? I do apologize.” Harry sighs and rubs at his forehead. “With all the meetings regarding the trainees I’ve quite lost track of time.”

“No need to apologize…you’re just lucky you got me and Merlin to keep you straight, Arthur.” Eggsy beams at him as he ladles himself some porridge and sprinkles it with sugar. “Thanks for making breakfast, Harry.”

“Yes, porridge is SUCH a tasking meal,” Harry says, rolling his eyes.

Eggsy pours his tea and sits down with his breakfast. “Still…know you ain’t exactly the kitchen type.”

“And what type am I?” Harry raises an eyebrow.

“The bedroom type, of course,” Eggsy says with a wink. “Which works out great for me, if you think about it. I can do my thing in the kitchen…but in the bedroom it’s definitely more fun to have a partner.”

“So glad to oblige,” Harry says dryly. Eggsy laughs and Harry can’t hold back a sigh. His boy is stunning. An absolute ray of sunshine in Harry’s boring life. “So, is that bag to bury the bodies later tonight, or…”

“Nah, Jamal’s taking care of that,” Eggsy says with a straight face. “That’s my street clothes, innit? Can’t exactly meet the boys at the pub dressed like this.” He looks down at his suit.

Harry leans over to straighten the tie. “And why not? Nothing wrong with looking like the amazing man you’ve become.”

“Well, it don’t exactly go over well with them,” Eggsy mutters.

“Eggsy?” Harry asks with a frown.

“Never mind,” Eggsy says hastily. “Don’t wanna get fish grease or beer on this, do I? Gotta drop it off with Andrew for cleaning tonight anyway…don’t need another lecture about my mouth being big enough and why can’t my fork ever find it.”

Harry chuckles. That does sound like Andrew’s version of a scolding. “I assure you that your mouth is big enough for all the important things.”

“Harry Hart,” Eggsy says, pretending to be scandalized. He grins around his porridge. “I love you, you filthy old man.”

“And I you.” Harry leans over to kiss him. “I hope you have a lovely time with your friends tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will be great,” Eggsy replies. 

Something in his voice rubs Harry the wrong way, but he decides not to press the issue.

“Hello, thighs,” a voice murmurs behind Eggsy as he strides down the hall of HQ.

He turns around and rolls his eyes. “Really, Roxy? Does Amelia know you check me out like that?”

“AMELIA checks you out like that,” Roxy informs him. She slowly walks around him in a circle, looking every inch the perfect Kingsman agent in her suit. “Did you paint those on?”

“Ain’t that tight,” Eggsy mutters, looking down at his jeans. “Move better in these than the baggy ones I used to wear, actually.”

“I do like the polo…aqua is a lovely color for you.” She straightens his collar.

“Oi!” He slaps her hand away and she tugs on the brim of his snapback.

“Going undercover?”

“Nah, meeting my mates at the local soon.”

“And this is how you dress?”

“This is how they all dress…and how I used to dress.” Eggsy frowns. “You know that. Never realized you was so judgmental.”

“You know I’m not, I just…I didn’t think you did this anymore, pretended to be something you’re not.”

“I’m just me, Rox. This is me.”

“Sure it is,” she says with a snort. “Well, you have a nice time drinking them under the table, or whatever it is you idiots do.”

“You could come along.” Eggsy brightens at the idea. He’d love to find a way to bring his worlds together. “You could drink THEM under the table.”

“No, thank you. Amelia and I are going to Rosemary for dinner.”

“You’d rather eat tiny plates of overpriced gourmet food than have greasy pub grub with us?”

“Yes.” Roxy kisses his cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Give Amelia my best,” Eggsy calls after her as he heads in the other direction.

He sits on the bullet train deep in thought, turning his cap in his hands as he stares at nothing. He wonders if Harry would prefer to have ‘tiny plates of overpriced gourmet food’ more than they do. Eggsy thinks back to the last few times they’d eaten something other than a home-cooked meal. Dinner at another pub near their house, takeaway Chinese, pizza. Not quite the food that Harry enjoys. Has Eggsy been taking something away from him? Failing him without realizing it? Harry loves him in a way Eggsy cannot comprehend (and he’s been trying for the fourteen months they’ve been together), and he usually gives in to whatever Eggsy wants. But what Eggsy WANTS is for Harry to be happy. That’s ALL he wants.

He’s not in the best mood when he exits the train onto the lift, and that mood isn’t brightened by a clamoring in the shop. He hates having to put on a face around customers, but needs must. His mood improves slightly when he realizes it’s three of the trainees making the noise in the shop, not customers. They’re standing around one of the displays and Andrew is explaining what fresco cloth is. “Just gonna drop this here,” Eggsy says to Andrew as he places the bag with his suit behind the counter. Andrew nods but doesn’t stop talking until the telephone rings. 

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” Andrew steps away and heads for the telephone. “Kingsman Tailors, how may I be of service?”

“Hey, I didn’t know they let just anyone drop their cleaning off here.” One of the trainees snickers and elbows his companion. 

“Did you actually buy your suit here or do you just use Andrew to do your laundry?”

Eggsy stares at the trainees in shock. Was he EVER this obnoxious? They eye him up, disdain written all over their faces. Every agent works with trainees in one form or another, and he is scheduled to start with parkour and a bit of tumbling the following week. They haven’t met him, have no clue who he is, and he really isn’t in a place to deal with it. “Yeah, that’s a Kingsman suit,” he says finally.

“And what do YOU do?” The third trainee scoffs. “Wipe Arthur’s arse?”

Eggsy clenches his hands into fists. Before he can reply Andrew returns and says, “So sorry, gentlemen. Ah, I see you’ve taken the opportunity to talk with Agent Galahad. Very wise…he is the right person to speak with, since he was a trainee just a few years ago.”

“Galahad…you’re Arthur’s…” The first man stammers. Their mouths fall open as one.

“Yes, I’m Galahad,” Eggsy says, holding out his hand. Three limp hands shake it. “I know it isn’t gentlemanly to kiss and tell, but wiping isn’t exactly what I do to Arthur’s arse, if you get my meaning.” He winks and they blush. “Nice to meet you all, and I’ll be seeing you next week for physical training.” He gives them each an evil smile. “Andrew, always a pleasure.”

“Good evening, Galahad.”

Eggsy tries not to stomp out of the shop as he waves at one of the Kingsman cabs before climbing in.

“Tits out to HERE.” Jamal says, holding his hands in front of his chest. “Sorry, Eggsy, guess you don’t care about that, do you?”

“Always liked looking at a pretty girl,” Eggsy reminds him. “Just cuz I don’t wanna touch don’t mean I can’t admire it.”

“Jamal did more than just admire her, didn’t you, bruv?” Brandon says with a drunken grin. “Least that’s what I heard.”

“You heard right!” Jamal laughs and bumps Brandon’s fist with his own. He looks down at his empty glass. “About done here, ready for another round, Eggsy?”

“Yeah, maybe one more,” Eggsy says. They look at him expectantly and he realizes they want him to pay. “Be right back,” he says with a sigh, heading for the bar.

When he returns with three more pints they’re deep in a conversation about part-time work Brandon’s managed to drum up. “Ain’t exactly what I want, I mean, who wants to shovel dirt all day, but the pay is good and it looks like I’ll be working for at least a month.”

“That’s great, bruv. Glad to hear it.” Eggsy toasts him with his glass. “If you impress them, maybe they’ll hire you on full time.”

“Yeah, right,” Brandon says, laughing. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Course I am. You show up on time, work hard, and then if they got a position to fill, they’ll remember you.”

“That how it works at the tailor shop, then? You went in and worked hard and they brought you on full time?” Jamal asks.

“Nah, c’mon, Jamal. Weren’t Eggsy that got himself that job…it was HARRY. Cuz Eggsy brought him OFF full time.” Brandon and Jamal crack up.

Eggsy tries very hard to keep his temper. He knows they don’t mean anything by it, but the idea of him fucking Harry to get his current life is a very sensitive subject for him. “Bruv, if that was the case, I’d be living in Buckingham fucking Palace, I’m that good,” he says lightly. “You know Harry just got me the interview. I did the rest.”

“I know, I know, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Brandon says. “Hey…we should go to Ryan’s. His dad always got some good booze in the cabinet.”

“Nah, I can’t. Gotta work tomorrow.” Eggsy glances at his mobile. “Getting late and I gotta work trip in a few days. Need to be at work early to plan some things.” It’s a mission to Cairo, but they don’t need to know that.

“Oi, listen to him! A work trip.” Jamal grins. “I remember when you didn’t care more about your work than you did about your friends.”

“And I remember when you didn’t use me to get free drinks,” Eggsy snaps. He pushes his chair back. “I’m outta here. Have a good night.”

“Eggsy, what the fuck?” Brandon asks. “We was just having a good time!”

“Well, have it without me.” Eggsy stalks out of the pub without another word. 

Harry hears the front door open and close, followed by the incessant barking of JB. He glances at the clock on the nightstand and his eyes widen in surprise. Only 9:50. He hadn’t expected Eggsy for hours yet.

“Yeah, JB, I get it. You’re happy to see me. At least someone is.” Harry then hears the back door of the kitchen open and close.

Harry puts his bookmark in his book, places it on the nightstand, and waits. He’d come upstairs at nine, donning his favorite red pajamas (and they’re his favorite because they’re EGGSY’S favorite) and climbing into bed with the novel he’s been trying to start for weeks. He’d planned on reading a few chapters and then going to bed, although he’s quite happy that he won’t be going to sleep alone. He hears Eggsy and JB return to the house, and shortly after that he hears Eggsy’s tired steps on the stairs. Harry fixes the covers a bit, just for something to do, and waits.

“Hey,” Eggsy says in surprise when he sees Harry sitting up in bed. “You waiting up for me?”

“Hardly. You’re a grown man. Plus I figured you would be out much later, so I decided to climb into bed with Robert Ludlum here and see what happens.” Harry pats his book. 

“Well, I hate to interrupt you and old Robert.” Eggsy gives him a tired smile and heads into the en suite. Harry listens to him use the toilet, wash his face, and brush his teeth, and then he reappears clad only in Harry’s red dressing gown. “You mind?”

“Never. You look better in it than I do.”

“You look better OUT of it,” Eggsy says with a wink. Harry throws back the covers and lays down as Eggsy putters about the room a bit. Eggsy turns off the light, hangs up the robe, and crawls into bed next to Harry.

“You’re quite naked,” Harry observes as Eggsy cuddles close. He runs a hand over the velvet of Eggsy’s hip.

“You’re quite observant. I see now why they made you Arthur.” Eggsy kisses Harry’s cheek.

Eggsy is silent but Harry can tell he’s not quite ready to go to sleep. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Anything that’s on your mind…such as why you didn’t exactly sound thrilled about this evening’s plans when you left this morning, or why you told Mr. Bauer that ‘at least someone’ was happy to see you, or why your footsteps on the stairs were full of exhaustion.” Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s hair for a moment. “I am always thrilled to see you, and I hope I express that appropriately.”

“You do,” Eggsy says immediately. “Fuck, Harry, I come in a room and you look at me like I brought the sun in to shine just for you.” The last few words are garbled as he presses his face to Harry’s chest, soon followed by tears that wet Harry’s pajamas.

“Eggsy…what…what happened, my dear boy?” Harry struggles to pull away so he can face his lover but Eggsy simply holds on tighter.

“Why, Harry?”

“Why what?”

“WHY am I your dear boy? What am I to you? What am I COMPARED to you? I ain’t a gourmet or some posh gent who knows his chardonnay from his champagne. I ain’t well-educated or well-read…only know who Robert Ludlum is because I love those Bourne movies so much and his name’s on them. I don’t belong here with you.”

“Eggsy!” Harry gasps, completely blown away.

“I don’t belong here with you because you deserve someone with class and intelligence. And I found out tonight I don’t…I don’t belong with THEM. They only care about how quick they get a bird in the back of a car, or how many drinks they can get before they gotta go home. They don’t care about work or responsibility or doing something to get their arses outta that hellhole. And I DO care, and I work hard as fuck, and they act like it’s a bad thing…yet they have NO fucking problem taking my money for pints.” Eggsy sits up and Harry turns the small lamp on. Eggsy rubs at his eyes with the heels of his palm. “Too good for them, ain’t good enough for you or Roxy or Kingsman. I’m just…I wanna be good enough for you, Harry,” Eggsy whispers. “I wanna walk down the street with you, have people look at you and say ‘wow’ because they’re impressed, NOT because they think you’re with your sugar baby.”

“Has anyone EVER said that to you?”

“Fucking trainees saw me today and asked what my job was…if I was there to wipe your arse.”

Harry slowly sits up. “You do many things to my arse, darling, but wiping it isn’t one of them.”

“Might have told them that,” Eggsy admits, smiling a bit through his tears.

“Darling…” Harry takes Eggsy’s hands in his and kisses them. “Have I said or done anything to make it sound as if I feel you are not good enough for me.”

“No, Harry, never,” Eggsy says earnestly. “You make me sound like I hung the moon or sommat. But Roxy went to some fancy restaurant with Amelia tonight, and the last time you and I went out we had fried chicken, and you deserve better.”

“I happen to like fried chicken, although the doctor has been on me about my cholesterol,” Harry says.

“Oi! I knew I should asked Merlin to show me your labwork,” Eggsy says accusingly. “Diet starts tomorrow. Veggies and chicken without the skin and lots of fruit.”

“Listen to yourself,” Harry says softly. “Listen to how you’re looking out for me.”

“Well, someone has to. You’re an absolute menace on your own. Before I came along you just hung out here all the time with your butterflies and your whisky.”

“Exactly.” Harry cups Eggsy’s face in his hands. “I’m so sorry you’re upset, dearest, and even more sorry that I can’t fix it. All I want in this world is to make you happy and keep you happy. I cannot change your friends or how they act…but know that it is THEIR loss. If they cannot love and accept you for who you are, that is on them. And if I’m being honest, I do believe they’re likely jealous.”

“But they could do better if they just TRY.”

“Like you said, Eggsy, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication…and I know no one who works harder or is more dedicated than you.” Harry sighs. “I cannot truly understand how you feel, because I’ve never straddled two worlds the way you’re forced to. You speak so highly of my posh world with its gourmet meals and expensive clothes…but I guarantee you that even with your stepfather in the picture, you were shown more love than I ever experienced.”

“How could anyone help but love you?” Eggsy wonders. “You’re amazing.”

“You may be the only person who thinks so.” Harry pulls Eggsy into his arms. “Please do not say you don’t belong here, because my greatest fear is you waking up and realizing you belong somewhere much better, with someone who is much better for you.”

“Ain’t no one better for me than you, Harry!”

“Someone younger…stronger…someone able to show their feelings and be open with you. I am still working on all that. You see people talking about YOU when we’re out together. I imagine them talking about ME, wondering who the ridiculous old man is tottering after the beautiful young chap with the perfect arse and gorgeous smile.”

“You ain’t old. And you don’t totter, whatever that is.”

Harry gently pushes Eggsy back a bit and places a finger under his chin. “You are handsome. You are charming. You are brilliant. You are loving. You are brave. You are everything I have ever dreamt of in a partner and more. Unfortunately that’s all I can give you. I cannot help you with your friends…and only YOU can control how they make you feel.”

Eggsy’s eyes brim with tears. “You really think I’m all those things, Harry.”

“I do.”

“Then that’s enough. All I ever want to be is the man who keeps you happy and satisfied.”

“I assure you I am both of those things.”

Eggsy leans forward and almost falls into the kiss, turning his body until he’s on his back in Harry’s arms. “I am, too,” Eggsy murmurs. He places his head on Harry’s chest. “Sorry I acted like an idiot.”

“As I said, dear boy, I cannot imagine how it feels to try to maneuver in the world where you were born as well as the world where you now live. And if there’s anything I can do to help you, please tell me.”

“You could…get naked with me under the covers,” Eggsy suggests.

Harry pretends to think about it. “A sacrifice, but needs must.” He gets out of bed, removes his pajamas, and climbs back under the covers.

“I appreciate your sacrifice,” Eggsy murmurs before stretching out on top of him.

“You sure about this?” Eggsy says doubtfully as he ties his trainers. “I mean, Arthur don’t normally check in on the training process, does he?”

“Correct. Merlin prefers, and this is a quote, that I keep my ‘nosy arse out of his business.’ He’s so possessive of his recruits.”

“You ain’t nosy!”

“I know, but this is Merlin we’re talking about,” Harry says with a smile. “Do YOU mind if I address your class? I know you’re eager to get them out on the course.”

“You’re Arthur, Harry, do what you want.”

Harry looks at Eggsy in his trakkies, trainers, and tight vest. “Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?”

“Arthur, this is the Kingsman locker room. Remember your manners,” Eggsy says in a posh tone.

Harry approaches him until he’s pressed against the lockers. “How about you remind me of them?”

“Filthy old man,” Eggsy growls. He takes Harry by the tie and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Filthy young man,” Harry says. He fixes his tie. “Shall we?”

Harry and Eggsy head for the gymnasium, where Merlin has the recruits doing a series of stretches. “At ease, everyone. This is Agent Galahad, who will be working with ye on some gymnastics and running exercises. And this, of course, is Arthur…who belongs behind his desk and not with my trainees,” Merlin finishes with a hiss.

“Good afternoon, everyone.” Harry gives them a warm smile. “I wished to say hello before your session with Agent Galahad, because you will likely not be able to breathe well by the time he’s done with you. He is quite relentless when it comes to physical activity.” He politely looks from trainee to trainee. “But from what I hear, some of you know that already.” He sees three men blush. Ah. There they are. “As you can see, for a man of my advanced age…” He hears Eggsy growl behind him. “…I am in fairly good shape. I have Agent Galahad to thank for that, as he works out with me quite often. We’ve been focusing on glutes and such…and I think we can all agree that the work he does on mine has been quite beneficial.” Merlin makes a strangled nose behind them. “I cannot wait to hear from Galahad just how well you’ve all done under his tutelage.” Harry smiles brightly at the mouthy recruits, gives Eggsy a wink, and leaves with a “good day.”


End file.
